Honor Your Father and Mother

This is one of those commandments that is easy to see on a paper (or stone tablet) but it is even harder to actually understand and put it into practice.  For this is the beginning of the commandments' portion that is often considered to be relating to Earthly relationships.  The mother and father are the two people with whom a child first encounters.  It is these two individuals who have been brought together, have created a child and now have the responsibility to care for this child until the child is able to care for itself.

During the time that the Ten Commandments were given to the Hebrew people (they were not to the promised land and so were known as the Hebrews.)  the dominant system of order and structure was that of the family.  The eldest male would often control the other people who descended from him or from his siblings.  Along with the servants, slaves and wives of any other.  The elder would be considered to have wisdom from all their experience. The elder would often have to make difficult decisions and would not always have everyone agreeing with the decision.  (For example, during a period of drought, the oldest brother may have to decide who does not get fed so that the others may survive.  This often meant  the elderly who could not work or even children would be left for dead.)  Now this was not simply something that was done in this culture but something that was done within other cultures as well.

Honoring the people that make those difficult decisions is not always easy and even harder when you are related to them and they still control your choices and consequences.  While it is not easy, we still must live with them and we are still related to them.  Regardless, the relationship is still the priority and the essence that should be addressed.  One decision should not keep the family separated from helping each other the next time a decision needs to be made.

Today, this commandment is something that is truly hard to wrestle with.  I have witnessed parents who say that they love their child but then feed them unhealthy meals time and time again.  They belittle their child and tell them that they are not good enough and should just give up.  I have also seen parents who simply leave their child on their own at an age in which the child still does not know how to care for themselves.  Should a parent who neglects their responsibilities be honored? Should the leader who makes decisions but does not consider the whole people still be honored?  I don't think so.

These are examples of how this commandment is being broken.  It is the evidence that we witness to remind us that we are in a broken world that still has sin present within it.  That the Ten Commandments still teach us that we are under the Law because of the relationships that we are in with others.  We can not escape that.  For you have been created to be in relationship with others, even as you were born you were placed into a relationship with your parents. (Unfortunately it is not always the case that the relationship continues.)  The examples that are pointed out above remind us also that we still have work to do and these are ways in which we should not be acting.

They also remind us of how important relationships truly are to one another or should be.  We are reminded that we must constantly work at relationships among all of us.  We should be focused on how we can care for one another, for God has given to us these relationships so that we can enjoy and enrich each others lives, not so that we can harm one another.  Honoring your Father and your Mother, is the starting point because they are your first relationship.  This is often how God views you, filled with love unconditionally and is willing to do anything for you.  At least, that is what it is suppose to be like and now, let it be so.